


defying gravity

by monffee



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-20 18:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15540555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monffee/pseuds/monffee
Summary: ryosuke gets lost, and yuto gives him home.





	1. defying gravity

**Author's Note:**

> it's so cheesy, i am sorry / written on may 9th, 2015

this autumn night, the wind cracks at cardinal color and dark rainbow on the angelic guy’s white canvas. it’s 2 am to morning, and everyone’s already in their deep slumber, snuggling close to their blanket or their loved ones. yamada ryosuke, a guy that paints the wind, smiles as he sees his work. he shudders a bit when he feels the wind gets colder and held him dear by the riverside.

 

“i see you’re done with your painting.”

 

he turns his head around, searching for the source of that deep yet soft voice but found nothing. ‘ _it can’t be_ _ghost_ _s_ _’,_ his mind secures him as he hears a low chuckle up there on the small tree few meters away from where he seats. now, he could see a man with an acoustic guitar on his lap sitting loosely on the branch, looking at him amusedly. he made an eye contact and chews on his lips, “not really.” says ryosuke, eyes come back to the canvas on his lap.

 

the guitar guy jumps from the tree and walking slowly towards him. “did i bother you?” he asks with his fingers randomly picking on the guitar to produces lullaby. ryosuke bites his bottom lips to prevent himself from giggling, he has no idea why he feels so excited as the guy comes closer. “did you, i wonder?” his voice comes out dreamy. a chuckle, “i’ll take it as _no_.”

 

"you know…” the guy tries to start a topic, “when you see it closely the sky's actually just a music sheet, and you can hear its tunes," he says out of the blue when he’s just a few feet away from ryosuke’s form.

 

"and you can see the wind’s dancing when you close your eyes. i guess, they can hear the music of the sky." ryosuke mumbles as he turns his head toward him, his smile stops the lullaby.

 

"i can't see the wind, though. well, no offense, maybe i'm just blind."

 

"nah, i might as well deaf, then. i can't hear the sky like, at all." ryosuke laughs.

 

"have it ever crossed your mind?" the guy withdraws a white carton from his pants, a zippo lighter as he seats beside ryosuke before putting his guitar nicely on the ground. he removes one stick of tobacco from the box, puts it on his lips.

 

ryosuke’s eyes follow his movements, "about what?"

 

"the sky..." the flame reflects on his dark orbs as he lights the cigarette. it's so beautiful (the colors of sunset, all warm and magical) ryosuke has to look away, "...and the wind." a puff of intoxicating smoke escapes from his mouth when he turns his head to the beauty.

 

"hm... nope." ryosuke giggles when the smoke tickles his crooked nose, he could feel it blend into thin air seconds after.

 

"you see, they're attracted to each other, but aren't actually fated," he says as he lays his body on the grass. cigarette dangling from in between his long fingers on his stomach. he stares at the darker sheet up there.

 

"and why is that?" ryosuke asks, adding new colors on his canvas.

 

"different space, different timeline. the wind is free, like, it can go everywhere and touch the light, nature, even you. but, the sky..." ryosuke titles his head in curiosity and finds the guy’s shaking his head a bit, his lips pursed. "...it's big but it has nothing, you know? just a quiet and infinite emptiness."

 

“just like you?" ryosuke rubs his cheek with small delicate fingers still holds the brush, his cheek somewhat smeared with paint. the guy chuckles, his hand reaches for ryosuke’s cheek to clean the color of spring with his thumb. "me? maybe," he says, looking deep into the other's mesmerizing orbs.

 

"maybe," ryosuke repeats. he's aware of the small dirt on his cheek and let the stranger cleans it for him. he feels like flirting tonight for ridiculous reasons. it’s been a while since he felt like this.

 

"so, tell me about you." ryosuke gives him a questioning look. "what about me?"

 

"i don't know. something you like or dislike, anything would do." the guy put the cigs in the corner his mouth as he picks up his guitar and lays it on his belly, starts to play some tunes.

 

"hmm... let's see. i don't like it when a stranger suddenly comes and talks to me, you know... something about the sky and strange stuff and even touching my face without my permission. it's just weird." ryosuke says teasingly and the stranger's laugh sounds like a muffled because he needs to hold the cigs still in between his lips.

 

"you don't look like you didn't like it, though." he set the cigs carefully on the grass then back to play his guitar, singing the chorus of radiohead's creep in flat tone making the smaller one laughs adorably loud. his own heartstrings play the perfect tune at that melodious laughter.

 

"stop it! well, if the stranger's attractive enough then i don't mind it."

 

he snorts amused, "so, i'm an attractive weird, huh?" ryosuke put his canvas on his left side, "seems so." nature welcomes his lithe frame. he sighs, feeling content.

 

"what about you, stranger? are you a musician, a band member or anything sort of?" he closes his eyes, rejoicing the muse and inner tranquility, listening to the unnamed song coming from the stranger's old guitar.

 

"not really." ryosuke snaps his eyes open, he frowned. "what did you do, then?"

the guy sighs heavily "well, i keep things." ryosuke leans sideways facing him, his head rests on his colorful palm.

 

"interesting." ryosuke observes him, "things like what? do you usually forget stuff or anything?" he stops, fingernail tapping his guitar, instead, he stares closely at the sky above. "well, i just like to remember things, cherish the memories i have, you know… something like that." ryosuke nods in understanding, "funny, because i tend to forget simple things. a lot." the stranger smirks at that innocent info and ryosuke found his heart skips a beat.

 

"is that so?" the stranger changes his tunes, it sounds a little bit cloudy and colorless. ryosuke shrugs, "it's just so easy for me to forget simple things, seriously. when i was a kid i forgot my way home." he laughs, the same sound was heard from the guitar guy, "i did, too, once. i was so scared."

 

"i know right! anyway, share me something from your memory, would you? i'll tell you a secret in exchange."

 

"alright.” he grins. “you see, once upon a time i met this tiny interesting guy. he was beautiful and gorgeous..." he glances at ryosuke to make sure he is listening, "hu uh, go on." ryosuke assures him that he's all ears.

 

"he told me something about the wind, i mean, the dancing wind, i thought he was delusional. and the odd thing is i believed him."

 

"w- wait! was that me you're talking about?" ryosuke gets up in a hurry from the grass, his hair is a constellation of autumn leaves. the stranger smokes some more, clicks his tongue archly. ryosuke hisses and lies back, giving the guy a view of his back.

 

"it's not a bullshit," he grunts. handsome guitarist smiles softly. he throws away his cigs into the river, sets his guitar beside him and leans his body toward this beautiful angry little angel, his head propped up in the palm of his left hand, his other hand reach for ryosuke’s shoulder. "i know..." he caresses it lightly with his thumb, "i said, i believe him." a small smile embellishes ryosuke’s plump lips, his fingers shyly meet with that bigger one on his shoulder.

 

he slowly turns his body around and the guy's face is so, so close to him, he even breathes the air he exhaled. he studies that long eyelash, perfect nose, thin lips with a faint scar on the left, and those magnificent dark eyes that seem to drown him in the pool of a peaceful loch. so dark, so deep yet feels like home.

 

"i’ve never met you before, and i don't know if it makes sense to you. but being with you here, it almost feels like a déjà vu. a familiar i cannot name." ryosuke’s fingers find its way to touches the stranger’s hair, removing the small yellowish leaves and let them fall on his own face. he closes his eyes.

 

"nothing makes sense in this universe." he blows the leaves away from ryosuke's face. sunshine on his lips as ryosuke’s eyelids flutters open. "so, what's your secret?" he asks, his eyes enjoying the beauty provided in front of him.

 

ryosuke looks hesitant for a moment, "i... do you believe in reincarnation?"

 

"i'm not sure, why?"

 

"well..." ryosuke pushes the man lightly so he can sit down. "i do. and i think i'm one of them." the guy’s eyebrows furrowed, "okay..." he's not sure what to says.

 

"i'm not crazy." the words come out sadder than he intended it to be. he can feel a strong hand pulls his body backward soft but firmly, his back bumps into something board and smooth, a pair of arms hold him from behind.

 

"no, you're not," he whispers on ryosuke's head. ryosuke closes his eyes to absorb the warmth of every single cell of his body as he leans comfortably closer against his chest.

 

"it's strange. sometimes, i could hear whispers in my head, telling me something i can't understand. there were too many images being exposed in front of my vision, every day feels like a movie. it's so weird. i don’t get it." the stranger heartbeat's echoed against his back, "maybe you're just sick?" he tries to jokes. and ryosuke's smile at the fail attempt.

 

"well, i caught a cold yesterday and need to be hospitalized because of that." he adds and the guy can't help but noticed from the very start, "yeah, i can see that." his fingers clamping the hem of ryosuke’s hospital johnny, "and here you are in the meadow with an attractive weird despite being a patient." ryosuke huffs.

 

"i hate hospital." he adjusts his position in the taller guy’s arms, and probably older too. "it's always like this since i was a child. mom said that whenever i caught a cold, i'd always got a high fever and sneezed so much until i fainted because i was too tired." he snickered, "i am the weirdo after all, not you."

 

the stranger's sniffs, "nonsense," he buries his face deep on ryosuke's nape, "you're the most wonderful human being ever walked on earth." he says, eliciting a little red dot on both of ryouske’s cheeks, "well... if you said so. it’s not something you just casually say to a stranger, though.”

 

"tell me!"

 

"huh?"

 

"tell me more," he tightens his embrace around ryosuke's light form, "i want to hear more."

 

and more he’s got.

 

ryosuke smells of soap and medicine, and something very sweet and personal, and his voice sounds like tender autumn leaves falling at sunrise. "are you sleepy?" ryosuke touches the hands that circled around his slim body, he could feel the guy shakes his head.

 

"your turn now, tell me about you." says ryosuke, he catches a glimpse of a smile on the stranger's face through the tail of his eyes as he feels the weight on his shoulders lifted, "what do you want to know?"

 

ryosuke turns his head slightly, facing the handsome face, staring at him unblinkingly. "your name. what's your name?"

 

"it's yuto. nakajima yuto."

 

"yuto-kun." ryosuke repeats his name tenderly, loving the taste of every syllable on his tongue. "i'm yamada ryosuke, nice to meet you, yuto-kun." his eyes radiated a golden grain of light as he smiles. "please to meet you, too, ryosuke."

 

"why, yuto-kun?" his eyes are now glancing at those thin lips in front of him.

 

"what?" their orbs intertwined.

 

"why haven't you kissed me yet?" ryosuke bites his own lips anticipatedly. yuto chuckles, touching the soft plump with his thumb, releases it from the stabbing teeth, "may i?"

 

"ofcour—"

 

thus, he knows now that the stranger, nakajima yuto, is no longer blind.

 

and he is no longer deaf.

 

they can now see the growing sparks inside their souls and listen to the aubade in their heartbeats as they kiss deepens. yuto angles his head to the left, scraping ryosuke's bottom lips with his teeth. ryosuke let out a breathless, innocent sigh. he kisses like snowflakes in summer, all melts and warm and addictive. the contact loses with a soft sweet sound.

 

"say it again," says yuto with nothing but tenderness. ryosuke's jaw and cheek feel so soft and cold against his rough palm, dark iris meets with the shining confuse orbs, "my name, say it again."

 

ryosuke obeys and yuto kisses him with light, "again..." asks him.

 

"yuto-kun..." ryosuke giggles. yuto seizes the soft pairs one more time, "again..." he murmurs against it.

 

and ryosuke says it over and again. his voice soft, almost inaudible whisper that spells sweet onto yuto's deep lonely heart.

 

ryosuke’s fingers clasp yuto's hands on his stomach as yuto travels his lips on his neck to his ears and whispers, "ryosuke... don't sleep." his voice sounds like a plea, it worries him a little. "why?"

 

"i'll lose you if you asleep. it’s lonely." the smaller one laughs at the joke.

 

"no, of course not. i'll still be here in your arms when i wake up, in where i belong. and we'll go on a date in the afternoon. there'd be more kisses and touches, and a lot more secrets when the night comes." he smiles, yuto can't help but holds him closer, tighter.

 

"well, that secrets in the night sounds fun. i'm looking forward to it."

 

"me too. i know we kind of just met and it’s really weird, in a good way, but i like you. a lot... i don't want to lose you, either. just stay with me, protect me when i sleep, play me songs when i'm sad and hold me when i cry. i'll do the same to you."

 

"i know, i will..." he kisses the mop of ryosuke’s head as he put his guitar on ryosuke’s lap, his fingertips picking on the strings slowly, he plays one more song. and softly in a heartbeat, the gods of all dreams take the guy in his arms over.

 

"ryosuke?" there's no response just a vague snore. yamada’s breath sounds like a bitter folk song, so soft and so close to home, his heart dilapidated.

 

because he knows the show's over now.

 

he closes his eyes tightly. it hurts a lot, god, it hurts. he sighs heavily, letting out all the heartbreak that he endured as they talked. he wishes to talk, to see those eyes that recognize him. he still wants to kiss those lips and hear it spells his name in between whispers, laughter and pixie dust. he lifts ryosuke’s face, studying his crooked nose, his beautiful eyes that now are fades away into the night. he feels so broken, so empty as if he was floating around in the space. just like the sky that let the wind slips away from its arms once again.

 

he pushes the damp hair on his forehead and whispers, "i love you, sunshine." he kisses his temple. "always have." he nudges his nose on his cheek, he could feel his eyes burning hot and dry and angry.

 

"please..." he kisses the corner of ryosuke's lips, "remember me..." his heart’s torn and bleeding, “remember us.”

 

he calms himself before reaching for his mobile and calls someone, "it's nakajima. yeah, he's asleep now." not too long after, there are two nurses coming and greet him politely. yuto replies with a simple nod, and carries ryosuke to the hospital gurney gently, watching his beautiful face once more and kisses his cheek, whispering, "sleep tight, okay? i love you. we’ll meet again soon."

 

he flicks his nose, smiling amusedly looking at a small uncomfortable grunt on that peaceful face. and then, he let them take his love away from him, take him back to the sanctuary just like that, to let ryosuke forgets about tonight, about him, the sky, the wind and everything in between.

 

a tap on the back and he turns around. "it's been three years, nakajima-kun… you’ve got to let him go and move on. he can't even remember his own sisters now." says a middle-aged man softly, yuto shakes his head briefly. a bitter smile adorns his lips, "not yet, doc, never. he wants me to stay. and i promise him i won’t let go."

 

tonight, he'll do it again and also the upcoming nights that comes. over and again, in the same place, at the same time. he'd be saying the same stuff, playing the same tunes with the same yamada ryosuke who paints the wind beneath the night sky,

 

just like 9 years ago when they first met. and maybe, ryosuke will finally remember.

 

maybe someday, there'd be a miracle.

 

 

 

 

 

 _“yuto, dear, my love…” yuto chuckles at the cheesy names as ryosuke straddled him hurriedly on the cozy sofa inside their apartment._ _a small palm landed itself on his cheek, guiding his face to look at his little angel. “i’m sorry.” ryosuke’s_ _face was so long and sad. yuto sighed, touching the hand on his cheek, brought it closer to his lips. “don’t be… it’s nothing.”_

_ryosuke sobbed, he can’t take it anymore. he was so angry, so angry to himself, to the gods, to everything that makes him like this. “it’s your birthday, and i… i promised you something, didn’t i? i know, i know i want to give you something, but…i…” his eyes closed, and more tears flowed on his cheeks, “i can’t remember what it is. i…” yuto’s smile is reassuring and kind and understanding._

_“shh… no, no,_ _sunshine. y_ _ou didn’t promise_ _me anything._ _”_

_“but, chinen said that i_ — _”_

_“nah, chinen must’ve been mistaken. come on, baby, don’t cry. it’s my birthday, isn’t it?” he sulked playfully, then kissed his forehead, pulling his lithe little body_ _i_ _nto his protective arms. ryosuke bites his lips, he shook his head against yuto’s chest, his heart felt heavy and his head was spinning, “it’s getting worse, yuto… it’s getting worse. i’m confused.”_

_long slender fingers came to stroked his side softly, “it’s okay, baby. it’s okay. everything’s fine. just tell me anything, anything that you did. every single thing that you want to say, every little secret, and i’ll keep them with me. i’ll cherish them, always. and_ _i_ _’ll_ _remind you every day, every night. i’ll make you remember, i promise.”_

_“i know… i love you. i…” he gulped, shaking his head frustratingly. ”i love you, yuto. i love you so much._ _god… at least let me keep this feeling for you. i don’t want to lose it. i_ _really_ _don’t want to._ _i can’t bear losing my love for you.”_

_“you won’t lose it, and you won’t lose me, either. i’ll make sure you didn’t. heaven knows how much i love you,” he grinned foolishly, “and i’d be pissed if you don’t love me back, seriously.” he could hear_ _ryosuke’s_ _small choked in between cry and chuckle. yuto smiled softly, his knuckles brushing underneath his eyes, wiping away the tears he doesn't want to see._

_“just try not to think about it too much… we’ll figure something out, alright? now, come here, give a birthday boy a kiss!”_

_there’s a pretty smile on ryosuke’s lips as it met its mate in a harmonious dance._

_as the waltz still continued, yuto cracked his eyes opened and glanced at the calendar on the side table. it was may 9 th today, and no, it wasn’t his birthday. he_ _re-closed his eyes in despair, and simply let his heart sang a birthday song for his lover,_

_simply let the small box left untouched on the windowsill._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy belated birthday to the ever so adorable, hardworking, lovely, yamada ryosuke.  
> hope you’ll improve a lot in your acting, and in everything you do.  
> stay healthy and please, be happy (with yuto).  
> love, your mom <3
> 
> also i made a little fanmix for this story, you can go to the next chapter to listen to them (shy laughs)


	2. a gift

**a gift**

_**defying gravity**_  ; a yutoyama fanmix (instrumental)

 

 

 

**01 forces of attraction by johann johannsson**

_"and you can see the wind’s_ _dancing when you close your eyes. i guess, they can hear the music of the sky." ryosuke mumbles as he turns his head toward him, his smile stops the lullaby._

 

**02 kisses and cake by john powell**

_"i don't know. something you like or dislike, anything would do." the guy put the cigs in the corner his mouth as he picks up his guitar and lays it on his belly, starts to play some tunes._

 

**03 fragile n.4 by dustin o'halloran**

_"well, i just like to remember things, cherish the memories i have, you know… something like that." ryosuke nods in understanding, "funny, because i tend to forget simple things. a lot." the stranger smirks at that innocent info and ryosuke found his heart skips a_ _beat._

 

**04 comptine d'un au tre ete: l'apres-midi by yann tiersen**

_"i’ve never met you before, and i don't know if it makes sense to you. but being with you here, it almost feels like a déjà vu. a familiar i cannot name." ryosuke’s fingers find its way to touches the stranger’s hair, removing the_ _small yellowish leaves and let them fall on his own face. he closes his eyes._

 

**05 moonlight sonata by ludwig van beethoven**

_"nonsense," he buries his face deep on ryosuke's_ _nape_ _, "you're the most wonderful human being ever walked on earth."_ _he says_ _, eliciting a little red dot on both_ _of_ _ryosuke’s_ _cheeks_

 

**06 the meadow by alexandre desplat**

_"say it again," says yuto with nothing but tenderness. ryosuke's jaw and cheek feel so soft and cold against his rough palm, dark iris meets with the shining confuse orbs, "my name, say it again."_

 

**07 we'll meet again by dennis kuo**

_a bitter_ _smile adorns his lips, "not yet_ _, doc,_ _never. he wants me to stay. and_ _i_ _promise him i won’t let go."_

 

 **08 home by joshua hyslop** _/_ _a (bonus) song_

_in the dark, in the quiet now / it's too much for me to take / to feel alone as if there's no way out. (yuto sings this song before ryosuke falls asleep in his arm.)_

 

 

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